Re: About Horizon
by General Junos
Summary: It took some time to get over the anger, to get over the shock, but when she finally did, Shepard finally sat down and wrote out her reply.


I guess I should apologize as well.. I understand why you're angry, and at the time, I think my anger was being fed by yours. You wouldn't let me finish a sentence, or allow me to explain myself, and that fault lies with you, however.. I didn't respond in a way I should have. Instead, I was angry that you were angry at me, not to mention confused, and in the end, it all came out wrong. So I'll start over.

I was dead, brought back to life, then kept in a coma for two years. After all that, when I woke up, the first thing I thought wasn't: "What's going on?" The first thing I thought about was **you**. Where were you? What happened to you? Were you alright? The second I could, I tried to find out what happened to you, to find out where you were. But, all I got was: I don't know, confidential mission, run around. I tried every old contact, every new contact, everyone I could think of, and no one could help me. Just as I was about to give up and do something drastic, I found out you were on Horizon.

When the Illusive Man contacted me to tell me he knew about an impending Collector attack, I figured it would be a chance to stop them, a chance to save some people, maybe even get some revenge. But the second he said your name, the second he told me you were there, all thoughts of colonists and Collectors completely left my mind. You were alive, and I could find you. I immediately left for Horizon, and when I found I was too late, that they were already there and had taken most of the colonists, all I could think of was **you**. I immediately promised myself that if you had been taken, I was going to storm the ship, right then and there, to try and save you.

And then there you were, right in front of me. Had I not been exhausted from fighting off the Collectors for as long as I had, I would have launched myself at you, and clung to you like a little girl. But then you found out I was working with Cerberus, and everything tumbled downhill... It wasn't the sort of reunion I had hoped or planned for.

Let me say this now: I do not work -**for**- Cerberus. My men do not work -**for**- Cerberus. They have the resources I need to stop the Collectors, and I'll use what I can get. Neither the Alliance nor the Council believe me, they've basically turned their backs on me, and aside from reinstating my Spectre title, they said I was on my own. Where else could I turn?

I remember Kahoku. I remember the Thresher Maw. I will -**never**- forget all the messed up and immoral things that Cerberus has done, and I'm fully prepared for the day when they decide to turn on me, or use me, and when that happens, I **will** destroy them. You know me well enough to know that that's a promise I fully intend to fulfill. And yes, I'm sure they're reading all of my messages, just as I'm sure they're reading this, but I just don't care; they need me as much as I need them at the moment, so for now, we're safe from eachother.

You ask if I remember that night before Ilos. Well, do you remember when I made that comment about Brain Camp teenagers and alone time, and you told me that you weren't like that, that something like that meant something to you? That it wasn't something you took lightly? Well, it's the same for me; sharing a bed with someone isn't something I take lightly. So, yes, I remember the night before Ilos, and I remember it meant the world to me. As did every night after that that we spent together. You've been on my mind ever since then, and I don't see that changing any time soon.

I remember hearing once about a romantic novel, where the guy saves the girl. Well, it's time for me to change that. I'm going to stop the Collectors, I'm going to save the galaxy for the second time, and I'm not doing it for the Alliance. I'm not doing it for the Council, I'm not doing it to help the homeless guy around the corner. I'm doing it for **you**. If I don't stop them, then we all die, then you die, and I refuse to let that happen. This is -**my**- story, now, and in it, the girl saves the guy. I'm going to save you, even if it means I have to go to hell to do it.

But know this, Kaidan: when this is over, when I've beaten back the Collectors, I'm coming back to you. I don't care where you are, I don't care how confidential some mission you're on might be, I don't care if you're deep undercover, **nothing** is going to keep me from you again. Unless you write me back saying you never want to see me again, I will hunt you down, to the ends of the galaxy if need be, and tie myself to you, in every way imaginable. When this is over, I vow that I will never leave your side again.

You know me. You know I'll be keeping this promise.

I love you,

Shepard

* * *

><p>Once sending the letter, Shepard stood from her desk, her eyes tracing over the picture of Kaidan before her. A ghost of a smile played at her lips before the Commander turned to leave her quarters, tightening the straps of her gear as she stepped into the elevator. Sadness, depression and anger were gone. Horizon was but a memory. All she needed to remember was the warmth of his arms and the scent of his cologne. Those two things would get her through everything, and they would give her strength when she finally met the Collectors on their own ground.<p>

Weeks passed before the reply came:

_Shepard,_

_I won't tell you no._

_-Kaidan_

_._

_._

_.  
><em>

Staring up at the Collectors' base, Shepard brought those five words to mind and smiled. She would get through this. And when she was done, she would keep her promise.

* * *

><p>AN: Horizon saddened and angered me like everyone else. But, with news of Mass Effect 3 starting to come out, happy news at that, I figured I'd write a one-shot, Shepard's reply, to make myself happy. I have a feeling things are gonna' be hard for these two, but in the end, they'll have -some- happiness. Might as well try and set them up for it, in my eyes, at least.


End file.
